In this one, the Mother is the alienator and the Father the target.

His daughter accused him of always being late, at times he was meant to pick them up from their Mum’s house.

He couldn’t understand why she said it because he couldn’t remember being late at all, and certainly not beyond the odd unavoidable time.

However, he didn’t know about a common, sly and bullet proof, alienating tactic.

Stage One: The Set-Up

“Okay, kids. Your Dad is picking you up at 12:30, so be ready with everything you need because Mummy needs to go to a work meeting”. Then, under breath, but loud enough to hear, “I hope he’s on time for once”.

The kids get ready and are waiting at 12:30.

Stage Two: Building up the anxiety in the children as the alienator plays the victim.

The kids are a little bit on edge as 12:30 arrives and another 5 minutes go by. They have their coats on. Mummy shows her obvious frustration but pretends to try to hide it.

“Mummy, Daddy’s late. What about your meeting?”

“Oh, don’t worry. He’ll be here in a minute, I’m sure”.

Stage Three: Playing both victim and rescuer.

It’s now nearly 1pm, and there’s still no sign of Daddy. The kids are more anxious and worried about Mummy.

“Mummy, you’ll miss your meeting won’t you!”

“Don’t you worry about me. I will be fine and sort everything out.

Stage Four: Alienation complete.

Daddy arrive at 1pm.

“Okay, kids! Your Dad’s here. Off you go and have a great day. Don’t worry about Mummy. I’ll sort every out. Oh, and don’t talk to your Dad about being late because he will only be annoyed”.

The kids go off to a smiling waving Daddy who hasn’t even apologized for being late. What a heartless Daddy. And, to think, he does this regularly.

Earlier Text messaging between Mummy and Daddy:

Mummy: “Can you pick the kids up at 1pm?”

Daddy: Sure. I’ll be there.